What is Anger and Rage?

Posted on June 11, 2011

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Anger is a human trait that we all experience. However, it is not an appropriate response when our emotions become out of control and turn into rage.

I was listening to a radio program two weeks ago. I had to turn down the sound when he talked about anger because obviously, he didn’t know the first thing about how to handle anger that turns into rage.

The man was annoying because he acted like he is an expert on the subject but obviously he is not! He suggested that, when you are about to blow up, you stop and count to ten or say a prayer. That is just plain unrealistic.

The right thing to do is to first consider the proper way to respond in that type of situation, before you get upset. Otherwise, when the rage switch turns on, nothing will stop you.

The plan is to have some sort of an idea of what to do before the situation occurs, and then accept that you might mess up. You know that you will not remember how to respond appropriately the first time or two but likely you will remember the next time or the time after that!

What you do when you mess-up is say to yourself: “Oh well, I screwed- up this time but at least I remember what I should have done. Maybe next time I will do better.” Each time you screw-up but remember, you come closer and closer to eventually doing it right.

It is a matter of recognizing the right way to respond and then trying to do better next time. It takes education, training, and practice to change the switch inside your mind. You can add prayer and counting to ten if you want later, but in the beginning, it takes planning a proper response.

If you have a friend you can trust and you’ve decided on a code word to use when you start revving up, your friend can use that word in a sentence that will tip you off but no one else. At that point, you make the choice to respond appropriately or not to.

Too often, people use excuses when giving themselves permission to respond inappropriately. All the excuses you use will not change how you feel about yourself afterwards and how you negatively affect people.

Anger and intimidation get people’s attention but it does not earn their respect, and it never will. Anger shows disrespect for yourself and others, and it shows how out of control you are of your emotions. You can’t be trusted to do the right thing when you need to be trusted and you will be denied friendship, love, and business opportunities until you learn to control your emotions.

If you need therapy and medication, by all means, take care of it. You cannot be happy until you get your life in balance and take care of the reasons for being so angry.

There are many places you can get the information and training you need, but start out doing some research on the Internet. It is less personal that way, if that’s what bothers you. Eventually, you will need personal training in order to change your inappropriate responses. That is when you can add prayer and other tools to help you maintain proper responses.

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Posted in: Our Times